Saturday, July 13, 2013

Everything lies. Except me.

Hi, I'm Natalie.

When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, I was super excited. I read all the parenting books, all the baby websites, devoured each promise and reassurance about everything from how many kicks per hour I should feel to how long I'd be in labor for a first pregnancy.

They all lied.

Of course, not EVERYTHING was a total lie. "This week you are 12 weeks pregnant!"...well yeah, of course that's true. But, "Your water will most likely not break until you are in the hospital. If it breaks before that, it will be a tiny trickle"? Yeah no. It was like Old Faithful in my pants so bad my cats skidded away from me yowling (to be fair, I was also running through the apartment yowling because I had no idea what the heck was happening).

Every pregnancy is different. Every kid is different. Every site will reassure you of this, then launch into a 5 page article about how "It's okay if your 5 month old kid hasn't hit this milestone yet...BUT REALLY GO SEE A SPECIALIST TO RULE OUT DYSLEXIA, DEAFNESS, TUMORS, PARAPLEGIA, ALZHEIMER'S AND AURORA BOREALIS."

This is about all those books and sites, and me. I won't lie to you. Not much anyway.

Oh, except the stretch marks. Those weren't a lie.

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